Most of us have enough going on in our heads that says things like I’m not good enough,  its my fault, I’m the source of the problem and on and on. If we don’t have that tape going on then we probably here another tape playing…something like, “I’m ok the world is the problem and I’m disappointed in everyone or everything outside of myself”. Whatever station you’re tuned into, it does not seem useful or at all helpful how politics and environmental issues are dealt with to perpetuate these core messages and beliefs. Headlines scream things like, “We better fight back, We must beat the other, can you believe what they’re doing????”. Who is they really??? Maybe it is just our shadow?

How about a new paradigm! I think most of us have enough guilt for this lifetime I think most of us want to help this planet, yet with an attitude of you better shape up… body too…or ship out it’s easy to feel at a loss of how to really help? I no longer can deal with all the e-mails that start with, “Can you believe them. We have to win” etc etc. It feels as shitty as junk mail. Are you sick of it too??

So I just read in Time magazine something that felt right. Something that was hopeful and good. Instead of focusing on the Footprint we are all leaving, because we all know we are and it is a problem, how about leaving a “hand-print”?? How about doing something positive like Lorax like planting trees? or starting on a small level and taking baby steps to help? This seems a lot more useful then shutting off and down with shame and guilt and doing nothing. I know personally I do my best everyday to leave a hand-print. Check out handprinter.org.  How about if we all start to work with solutions of joy and hope and leave the bull shit games and negative behind. I’m into launching rockets of change and possibility.New ideas and vision. The eye for and eye game seems really old to me. Lets inspire one another in a fresh and what’s possible way. I know our awesome pre frontal lobes are much more capable then continuing to resort to our ancient reptilian brain. Want to play??? Want to have fun changing the world? want to join in?? Let me know your thoughts. I’m ready for some play and, as my friend says any jews for the jews for joy club?? She is still hoping for some.

With LOVE and ease and breath!!!  Diane

Let the music take you for a little journey.

If you have any songs that you listen to make you feel good, let us know! We’d love to add to our playlist for future posts and take a peek into what everyone else is listening to. We’d love to hear your suggestions.

We interviewed her about the inspiration for the revolutionary project and how she has connected the blogging world to her cause. Read along to find out more about how Amy is spreading and sharing beauty within the blogging world and beyond.

Read all the self-love blog posts here.
It is our pleasure to introduce to everyone, Amy Morby.

1. What was your inspiration for creating the self-love campaign?
I’ve always been a huge advocate for self-love, but the idea became a personal one after battling an eating disorder for close to a decade. After being in recovery for 6 years, I decided it was time to make the crusade a personal one and started the revolution on my blog. My blog was the only place where I felt I had a voice, and after seeing so much self-hate from fellow bloggers, I decided it was time to take a stand and spread the word that it IS ok to love yourself. Not only is it ok, but it’s completely vital to our happiness as women.

2. What is your definition of beauty?
Women are inherently beautiful, and I firmly believe that. My definition of beauty is broad and varied, but I think that the greatest definition is strength. The most beautiful women I know are those that are strong in all areas of their lives–strong in their confidence, their beliefs, their kindness. Women who aren’t afraid to be their own kind of woman and forge their own path. Beauty radiates from those that are strong.

3. What do you consider your “beauty mark”?
I love my ability to stand up for women. I love the fact that because of my struggles, I am now determined to spread the word about self-love. At this point, we are constantly barraged with messages of hating ourselves and becoming “better” but I love the fact that I have made it my personal crusade to tell women that no–we don’t have to buy into that. We can be our own strength, we can love ourselves, and we can stand up for who we are as we are now. I want to be a beacon to women to show that it’s time for change and that it’s time to accept ourselves. By trying every singled day to become that source of inspiration, I, too, have to constantly strive to practice what I preach.

4. Why promote your campaign through the blogging world?
The blogging world is a hugely supportive arena. We are all women connected through similar interests and because of that, we are a tightly knit community. The blogging world, however, can also be a scary place where perfectionism and envy easily creep in. I wanted to create a positive space online where girls could come for inspiration–where they could see that not everyone is perfect but that is WHY we read each other’s blogs in the first place. We read to connect, to forge relationships–not to invoke feelings of jealousy or inadequacy. I was completely overwhelmed by the viral spread of the self-love campaign, and I wish that all bloggers would blog about self-love. The internet is a powerful, powerful place.

5. How has social media helped throughout this campaign?
Social media is what made the self-love revolution possible. I created a button that others could place on their blogs, and that’s where the viral swell really started. I encouraged everyone to tweet about their experiences, and the response was unreal! The more people tweeted and shared on their blogs, the more we connected we all became in our quest for self-love.

6. What are some of the “challenges” you’ve asked your readers to try? What’s been your favorite?
I included 5 challenges during the self-love revolution:

Challenge #1: Be an Advocate for Positive Body Talk
Challenge #2: Wear it because you love it and feel fierce
Challenge #3: Pamper Yourself
Challenge#4: Learn to Radically Accept
Challenge #5: Write a Love Letter to Yourself

I loved all of the challenges, but my favorite was probably the radical acceptance one. I know that radical acceptance was monumental to my recovery, and I loved seeing everyone’s responses to the post. My favorite challenge within that theme was encouraging girls to cut the tags out of their clothing and wear jeans with pride. The response was overwhelming and I was so glad to share one of my favorite tips!

7. What do you hope to achieve through your campaign?
All I really want is for women to start challenging the negative thoughts they think about themselves. I want them to first, start noticing that they do it, and second, start actively trying to change the way they think about themselves. I want them to know that it’s ok to love yourself–that dieting isn’t normal and that constantly bashing yourself isn’t acceptable. If I can just make one person out there believe that they are worth more than a number, I will be successful.

8. How do you think our society’s culture affects the perception of body image?
The longer I’m in recovery, the more baffled and disgusted I become with society. The models get smaller, the magazine ads more unrealistic, and the worst part is–it’s all more acceptable than ever. Eating disorders are a joke and dieting is normal. It’s NOT ok and it MUST stop. We all need to stand up for ourselves as women and let the world know that we won’t take it anymore. We won’t be made into objects and we won’t be made to feel like we are worth nothing.

Thank you Amy for stopping by the Beauty Mark blog and spreading positive self image! We commend your strength, honesty and passion for standing up for women every where.

Recently Diane ran into Maia and she was sweet enough to let us share her poem here on the Beauty Mark Blog! Please take the time to read…it is truly profound. And please find her book of poetry here: http://www.lulu.com/product/ebook/beautiful-and-broken/17351505 Thank you Maia!

i rock quietly in my sweet surrender

looking over past memory’s skipping

over the innocent felonies of

my

childhood ,i remember

when i could where cloths that truly did

make me feel like an angel.,

and no one could ever comment silently

their judging eyes

correcting an imperfect body against a

barbie back drop

and even though i was jealous of her curves

i could always trust barbie.

she was the pretty girl that didnt judge me

i could place her in her perfect house

with her perfect man in her perfect world and it was fine but

when you stop and look closely you see her smile is fake painted on

as we ignore her back story

but

here it is

her father hit her her mother left

And when she ate she forced it, cut it into portions

and no matter how small she got she always manged to get

one

size

smaller

then came surgery to make her taller

so she married rich and was placed in her perfect house

with her perfect man in her perfect world

by a little girl who wants to be

just

like

her and

since innocent eyes are fogged by propaganda and lies,

i realize and have to melt

my plastic smile because im not a toy

im a woman

and even though im jealous of the Revlon model

on the

highway billboard she never knew me

though she always knew exactly how i should me

she was never taught she deserved to be

herself just like

every

other

model and

im sure their feet are callused

one soar for ever parent that pushed them

one bruise for ever publisher that called them fat

one cut for the pressure that women

should fit into jeans a size to small and then

we can really be a prize to be one

and if they ask me to check my self in the mirror to make sure

i look “ok”

to stop and convince my self i would

look better if i was that size then i would

say no because im to busy walking

im to busy walking because i know there is more out there for me than cosmopolitans

latest trend line

because the screwed ideals of love and beauty are why

young girls clutch porcelain toilets just as

tightly as they would hug their fathers if their fathers hugged

them back so i walk

like oceans uproot sand magazine’s

pluck innocence out of the hand of young children

clouds fog the sky the sun will always shine through

if only we did not hide behind the mist we have lost

our individuality

and i am so tired of trying to be perfect

trying to fit a computer generated model

that teen voug projected for me

so

here i sit in my sweet surrender

looking over past memory’s

skipping over the innocent felonies of

my childhood

i know now that i can where cloths that truly do make me feel like

an angel

And look past THOES who comment silently their judging eyes

Pushing my body on a

Barbie back drop

And even though I may always be jealous of

Her curves I can’t trust Barbie

Because I’m so much more than a toy and

She is nothing more

Than plastic.

Everybody Knows Somebody. Help fight eating disorders during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week 2012, February 26- March 3! Visit the NEDAwareness Week homepage here http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/nedawareness-week.php to register today and learn how you can do just one thing to help raise awareness and become part of the solution. Need some inspiration? Check out the 25th Anniversary video: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nedawarenessweek/6637023569/

What is your town doing for NEDA Week?

It snows white. How does the earth continue to be so incredible and stay pure white when we bring such darkness and destruction to our environment and to our lives?

I am so grateful today and everyday. I am blown away and blown open by the miracle of this precious life, this extraordinary existence, and this profound in and out breath. Watching my Mom, who has been paralyzed for 14 years now, show up everyday fully with an attitude of, “YES! YES! I am GRATEFUL. I AM HERE. I AM SO FORTUNATE TO BE ALIVE”! What an Inspiration. What a role model. WHAT AN ACT TO FOLLOW!  So I go out running, at 52 years old, on Saturday the 25th and I’m reminded how lucky and blessed I am! I am able to run. I am amazed by life…amazed at being alive…amazed at my Body. 

I am so grateful to my body! I beat my body up for years and I took so much out on it and it’s just phenomenal how I’ve healed. I’m in awe of how my body moves today, the incredible forgiveness my body has offered me, and how my body keeps breathing. I am passionate about being alive and overwhelmed that we’re in a body that we have this vessel to transport our souls. How much Space is there in the universe and we’re contained in this form. Now that’s something!

I am feeling healthier today then I have ever experienced and I know its all because of this body & mind connection I’ve been cultivating over the years. The coolest revelation I have discovered is that nothing goes away everything is included. Moods, feelings, and emotions are all part of this package of life. Finally, I’m not habitually putting a story to what doesn’t feel good that doesn’t make sense. I know a lot of us prefer dramatic movies to bland  ones yet a little less drama feels sweet.

In these wild and techno times I feel so grateful that nature is still here, that it still snows white, and that I inhabit a body. The best birthday gift has been knowing that i feel home in my skin. Thank you all for being in my life. Your friendship, love, wisdom, and grace has gifted me everything. You are loved. I thank you all for being on this human ride.

-Diane Israel

You’re invited…

To the incredible Strength to Awaken book launch in Boulder on February 28th. Rob McNamara is the author of a new book titled, “Strength to Awaken”. He is a skilled Psychotherapist, leading Performance Coach, Psychology Professor at Naropa University and an Integral Zen Practitioner. He runs his private practice in Boulder Colorado serving a broad range of executives and professionals, undergraduate and graduate students and athletes ranging from high school to Olympic and professional world champions.

Next Tuesday Diane will be co-teaching alongside Rob as part of his book launch and they both really want you to be there! Below is your invitation from Rob and all the reasons you absolutely should be there. 

Why do you need to be there?

There’re actually a TON of reasons to come, but I’ve distilled this down to the 5 reasons why this book launch party is for you:

#1. Cool People.

You’ll get to meet Really Cool People, and by cool I mean you will get to meet peops like you, and not like you, who are fantastic & awesome.

#2. Well-Being, Re-Formulated.

If you happen to have a body, or perhaps instead a body happens to have you, this evening is going to be an exploration that you do not want to miss.  If you’re interested in moving, strengthening, and expanding the sphere of your well-being, this is a must attend event.

#3. Old Assumptions, Broken.

Whatever your assumptions are about fitness and strength training, I’m putting money on the table that what I am going to share is going to change the way you think and move. And this “change” will be a qualitative increase in your elegance. This is going to be “eye opening” and “massively clarifying” -  at least that’s what people have already told me in response to the book.

I’m serious! If I fail to deliver tell me why I failed afterwards and I’ll hand you $10. Think of it as me taking you out to lunch

#4. Novel Orientations.

I’m going to share how we develop and evolve in the practice of strength training (which secretly – don’t tell anyone – applies to virtually any form of movement discipline). If you’re like me a map tends to increase how efficiently I can get from A to B. This map is going to accelerate you and orient you in ways you’ve probably never considered.

#5. Engagement, Refined & Elevated.

By the end of the evening I am going to arm you with a pragmatic, intelligent way to qualitatively increase your capacity to engage. If you’re asking yourself, ‘and what does this do?’ all I am going to say now is that engagement has everything to do with performance, proficiency and results… or, in the case of the absence of certain types of engagement, the lack of results.

Bonus:

There’s a surprise at 9pm…

Join me! Bring your family, friends, co-workers and definitely your trainers and training partners to this evening of discovery as we take a new dive into the evolution of you.

Put it in your calendar – clear your calendar if necessary.

Tuesday, Feb. 28th

7-9pm

Looking forward to meeting you, spending an evening together and serving your journey next week!

Rob McNamara

Author: Strength To Awaken 

In case you missed it…here are the details:

Tuesday Feb. 28th

7-9pm

The Integral Center

2805 Broadway

Boulder Colorado 80304

If you’re still not convinced…go check out Rob’s website and learn more about his incredible work! 

Hello Beauty Marks and Happy February! Today we have a special gift for all our readers and just in time for Valentine’s Day! A couple weeks ago Diane was invited to lead a TeleClass for Marc David’s class. Although the course is taught to students who are studying to become therapists, the same techniques and ideas that Diane offers for dealing with difficult clients can be used in situations at home! If you are dealing with family or friends who are struggling or even if you need help in dealing with your own PERSONAL struggles please listen to this teleclass that we are sharing with you this week!

What You’ll Learn:

1. How to “take your seat”. Grounding with family members or friends in distress or struggle.

2. Ways to foster an environment of positivity amongst the struggle that is taking place.

3. What your “Shenpa” is and how to get unhooked from it using “The Four R’s” developed by Pema Chodron.

4. 11 take away slogans that you can use in your everyday life. Take the one you need most in this moment and meditate on it!

5. And finally, how to investigate your own boundaries & limitations while always seeking more knowledge.

Enjoy the class by clicking this link:  http://db.tt/3qXHhIbl

Take Action Steps:

• After listening to the teleclass share it with someone!
• Pick a slogan that resonates with you and write it down so that you can see it daily.
• Read the article ”How We Get Hooked and How We Get Unhooked” by Pema Chodron and delve into what your Shempa is and how to unhook yourself! http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=1610&Itemid=0&limit=1&limitstart=0
• Practice Taking Your Seat…alone and in the presence of others.

Good luck Beauty Marks! We believe in you! Please let us know what your experience was via email or on the Facebook page!

I am making no New Year’s resolutions for 2012. Being vulnerable to eating disorders and anxiety, I especially avoid resolutions related to body image.
I live in the moment these days. Take care of the moment, focus on it, and the rest of the day or year looks after itself. When eating disorders ruled my life, each day was black or white. There was little or no grey. Each day would be good or bad, and I would be good or bad, depending on whether the calorie target was met or blown. The target – and I set thousands of them, again and again and again – would be broken within hours or days. Always. And with each failure, my spirit would crash afresh.
Freedom came eventually, not from making resolutions, counting calories or checking weight on bathroom scales, but from allowing myself to ‘be’.
The key to freedom was remarkably simple: three meals and three snacks a day. If pressed to make a 2012 resolution, ‘three meals and three snacks a day’ is as good as it gets. Throw away the scales, refuse to count calories, eat three meals and three snacks a day, and amazing things will happen.
The problem with resolutions, especially related to body image, is that calories and weights set us up for failure. People who suffer eating disorders have rigid mindsets. Therefore, no matter how tempting, it is best to avoid setting boundaries, or limits, on the types of food we can eat, and how much we can eat. We are too hard on ourselves. We need to learn to be kind to ourselves.  We must not let figures on a page or in our mind boss us around, determine if we worthy beings.
Today I don’t think in terms of black and white, or grey. I prefer red and green, with amber between. I like a lot of amber. Definition: a yellow light used as a cautionary signal between green for “go” and red for “stop”. Amber is sunny, soft, warm and friendly. Amber is loving and forgiving. Amber provides a safe place to recognize we are going in the wrong direction, to pause and head back to the security of the green.

But life was not always this way:

Diary excerpts:
Age 27, December 1^st, 1978: I have decided that this muddled year will give me at least one achievement. I will weigh xxx by the end of December. From today, until I weigh xxx, I’ll eat no more than zzzz calories a day. And thereafter I’ll always weigh xxx. I will record everything, containing calories, eaten by me, until I reach my goal. … I’ll have the consolation of knowing that every day I’m getting a little slimmer. And I’ll start the New Year as a new person, rid forever of the nasty effects of anorexia nervosa which have plagued me since I was 11 years’ old. I’ll be a new me!
December 8^th, 1978: Down to xxx. Only xxx more lbs and I’ll have won my battle. I am very determined. I will not let myself down this time.
December 22^nd, 1978: As is obvious, I went off my diet for a few days – despite ‘gorging’ myself, I gained only xx lbs. I will not ‘gorge’ myself again. I’m allowing myself zzzz calories per day. I find I have to count calories – but I don’t mind, not if it means I’m slim and carefree, and can still eat special foods in my intake.
Age 28, January 8, 1979: I feel like a bird that has lost its wings … I’m sick of feeling sorry for myself and hope something happens soon to brighten my outlook.
January 10, 1979: My depression has led to me ‘gorging’ myself this past week. Today I must start lifting myself out of the doldrums, and live in hope … I’ll allow myself zzzz calories a day, with no increase until I reach xxxx.

Oh, painful to read, isn’t it?! Does she ever get off the eating disorder treadmill? YES, she does!
For decades, December was the worst month of the year. It should have been the happiest month, for it was full of events to celebrate – Christmas Day, my birthday and New Year’s Eve. But December was a reminder that I was about to be another year older, another calendar year was about to end and, despite many self-made promises to the contrary, I remained bogged in my eating disorder.
I would try to engage in light-hearted fun and socialize with friends and family, while inwardly feeling dreadful. Small chat on the outside served as a camouflage while my busy mind plotted and planned strategies to ensure that the next New Year would mark the moment in time when I would ‘take control’ of my life and ‘be normal’, ‘eat normal’.
For the truth was that ‘ED’ was sabotaging every area of my life – at work, with friends, with family. I knew what I wanted but didn’t know how to get it. I wanted peace in my mind, and contentment in my soul.
Surely writing things down, creating New Year’s resolutions, would help. I mean, it would be there in black and white, and all I had to do was stay true to the resolutions, right? Right. Surely this was possible. The idea was good but the method was wrong. It was helping my eating disorder, not me.
The dictionary definition for ‘resolution’ is: a firm decision to do or not to do something.
The years rolled by. Countless ‘firm decisions’ were written on page after page of new diaries. Thousands of ‘new starts’. Matched by thousands of ‘failures’. I was aware at some level that I had tried this before, and failed. So why try again? Because this time, I would succeed. I had to. I had to keep trying to escape, or ‘ED’ would nab me completely. Fear was acute….
When we have an eating disorder, it is scary to eat three meals and three snacks a day. Patient recovery guides eventually convinced me that this was the only way to freedom. They formed a safety net of support while I summoned the courage to break free of entrenched eating disorder behaviors. I learnt that if I binged after breakfast, not to miss lunch. Even if I felt full, I would make a sandwich with a favorite filling and eat it, and plan another favorite dish for the evening meal. If I binged in the evening while watching TV, I learnt to get up in the morning and sit down to a full breakfast. I learnt to never skip a meal. Ever. Gradually, by ignoring the eating disorder, it shrank in significance and began to loosen its hold; I began to relax and the urge to binge subsided. Instead of focusing on food, I began to focus on my feelings and gained the courage to embrace and nurture them. The poor things had been ignored and numbed for years. I began to get in tune with my body and appetite – I began to actually feel what I would like to eat for my next meal. I began to be the true me.
Five years ago, I experienced my first Christmas in more than 40 years, without feeling depressed, anxious or terrified that I would be an unacceptable human being if not a certain weight; I looked forward to eating whatever was served on my plate, including the gravy on the meat and potatoes, and the brandy sauce on the plum pudding. What treats! I was also able to look forward to my birthday and the New Year. No more counting of calories, no more weighing, no more dieting, no more isolation, no more depression, anxiety or ED. No more tormenting voices screaming in my head. No more PLANS. Hello to peace, contentment and opportunity to engage fully in the joy of eating, sharing and connecting with others.

One meal three times a day, with a snack between, put me on the path to freedom. That’s all it takes.

June Alexander is the author of My Kid is Back, A Girl Called Tim, and A Collaborative Approach to Eating Disorders. She is also a speaker and a blogger at junealexander.com! Currently June is Co-editing an international textbook on Binge Eating Disorder. Learn more about her work at: www.junealexander.com

Hi Diane,

I met you at the movie showing in Boone last night–I gave you my card about my work and training had my two boys (8 and 10) with me and my husband is a prof in the school of ed and teaches on issues of gender and sexuality.

We all loved it.  Anyway, I wanted to tell you something my 8 year son Tyler said–before the movie they handed out mirrors and the you are beautiful stickers and he is constantly comparing himself to others and he looked at me and said, “I think I’m ugly, Mommy.  I hate my freckles.”  I told him he was beautiful and that even someone who was born disfigured or in a fire was beautiful, too.  I had told him this before but after the movie, walking to the car he said, “Before the movie I thought I was ugly but now I know I am beautiful.  Everyone is.”   How priceless is that?

Please know your work would benefit 8 year olds, it starts that early!

I love your courage.  What affected me the most was the part you said afterward about how there is freedom in putting yourself out there, being judged, and realizing you are ok.  I have had to do that more recently and it IS powerful to say thank you to the critics. You are inspiring and my whole family benefited.

Thank you!!!!!

joanna